While divorce is a major change to you and your ex-spouse’s lives,
it can be even more overwhelming for your children. Children simply don’t
have the capacity to truly understand a divorce, and will often become
withdrawn or antisocial if the situation isn’t handled with care.
The good news is, it’s never too late for you to work with your
child and help them deal with the serious changes a divorce brings.
Help Your Kids Understand Their Feelings
Younger children in particular may struggle to truly understand what they
are feeling. The emotions brought on by divorce are complex, so it’s
helpful to listen to your child talk and help them find words for the
feelings they are experiencing. It can also be very helpful to read an
age-appropriate book about divorce with your child, to help them better
understand the situation.
Don’t Fight in Front of Your Kids
While children may struggle to find words for their feelings, they are
surprisingly good at picking up on the emotions of others. No matter how
young or old your children may be, you should make every effort to avoid
fighting or unnecessary attention in front of them. Watching parents fight
is regularly cited as one of the most damaging aspects of a divorce.
Don’t Use Children as Messengers or Spies
For many couples who have trouble getting along, they will use their children
to send messages or support payments, which can cause tension for the
child. Others will attempt to get information about their ex, which children
particularly resent. Your children should be allowed to love both parents
without feeling guilty – you must find a different way to communicate
with your ex.
Seek Counseling or Therapy
Divorce is an emotionally intense process, and seeking counseling is a
very healthy way to deal with these emotions. By managing your feelings
with the help of a therapist, you’re less likely to make rash, emotionally
charged decisions that could come back to haunt you. You may also learn
some techniques which you can use to help your child through their emotional distress.
Reassure Your Child
Children will often assume that they are in some way responsible for their
parents’ divorce. It is vital that you reassure them that the divorce
had nothing to do with them or anything they did. Kids may also worry
about their safety, food, and shelter – it’s important to
assure them that they won’t need to worry about having a place to live.
Getting Divorced? Call (561) 983-6707 Today.
At the Law Offices of Brian M. Moskowitz, our experienced Boca Raton divorce
attorney has a firsthand understanding of how the divorce process can
affect children. As a divorced single father, Attorney Moskowitz knows
how stressful the process can be for parents and children alike, and will
provide caring and compassionate representation when you retain our firm.
Hire a Boca Raton divorce lawyer who truly understands what you’re
going through. Call our firm at (561) 983-6707 to schedule your case evaluation.